I have a lot of dreams that i want to chase.
But i wish that i could have a little bit more time.
More time for me to prepare for NS.
More time for me to prepare for Alevel.
More time for me to prepare for Prelims.
More time for me to prepare for Mock Test.
More time for me to prepare for Tutorial.
As you should know by now, all this ain't possible.
So what is the key to this problem?
Time management and self discipline.
I freaking have no clue on this two issues.
Just looking back at the days in lower secondary,
where i only have the TV as my main source of distraction.
Radio was my sole companion when i'm studying.
Now back to reality, the distractions are all over the place.
I cannot really stop myself from all these things in my life.
How can i do that in a short time?
Perhaps stress will catch up on me and hit me real hard.
Stress did screw me up and make me feel damn bad.
However, what can make me study?
Radio is no longer enough to be my companion.
I need a listening ear. A breathing living thing.
But i do not think i really fit into modern world.
Everyone i meet will avoid me and leave me one day.
Maybe its b'cuz of my bad social skills,
or just b'cuz i'm short & ugly?
When can i really laugh my lungs out genuinely?
They say that a Capricorn's life starts when you are 30 or 40.
How come i don't feel so? Sigh.
Sometimes i wonder where will i end up when i die.
I don't think i will pass away.
I always think that i will somehow die of accident or get killed.
How many people gets to die on bed peacefully?
I've faced many death in my short 18 years.
They are all important people to me, and they kinda suffered their way out of life.
What's stopping me from joining them is the thought on where will i end up at.
Heaven? Limbo? Non-existent space? I do not believe in Hell.
Is there a possibility that one could just die while sleeping?
I heard that in news, but what are the probability that it will happen to me?
Maybe i can take out my GC to calculate all the mindblowing shit.
9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
I freaking hate maths now.
Ok, off to do math tutorial.
